(Explanation: the Australian cricket team have been caught ball tampering. To be precise they have been caught in clearly premeditated sandpapering (home-made with sticky tape) of the ball and then attempting to cover it up. The senior players were all in on it, and it looks from the footage as if the coach may have known what was going on, too. They apologised and hoped it would go away, giving as their justification that it was such an important match for them to win. It has not gone away. The humour in this disgraceful situation comes from the undeniable exposure of Cricket Australia's brand of hypocrisy, which has been on display in this series against South Africa, such as their habit of hurling personal abuse at other players and then whinging massively if they get any back, and it is very easy to imagine how they would have reacted as a team to an offence of considerably less magnitude than this one. They are the epitome of a team that dishes it out and can't take it. Or to put it more simply, cheating bullies. But the merely sordid is raised to the sublime by the hugely unsubtle way they attempted to cover this incident up, involving walkie talkies, the twelfth man, and underpants. My tip to all sports people: when you are caught cheating live on camera then trying to hide the evidence in your jockstrap is not going to help.)
Meanwhile the England men continue to underperform in New Zealand (previously sneered at by Australia for playing politely, apparently the greatest sin), but the women are doing nicely in India.
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